I don’t sleep alone, I have Doritos to keep me company
I done a thing
“ If someone makes eye contact with you for 60% of a conversation they’re bored, 80% and they’re attracted to you and 100% of the time then they are threatening you. ”
I’ve been absent for a while. Idk if it will change or not, just kinda depends on my mood. But let me get this off my chest for a minute.
I’m training to be a firefighter. I’m training to be an EMT-B. The two go hand in hand at our Fire Department.
Why in the fuck are we letting the recruits fail tests and be piss poor sorry ass mother fucking children? These assholes are just doing the bare fucking minimum at everything. Some aren’t even doing that. They’re just a body taking up space.
I’m working my ass off trying to learn all of this information. Its ridiculous and takes up about 95% of my time just to make a B in that class. These guys are failing consistently, don’t know jack fucking shit, and are sorry. They’re fucking sorry. They don’t realize that these people that we’re supposed to help could die if we don’t do these interventions right. They don’t fucking care. And I’m god damned tired of it. Fucking hell.
Other than that I’ve got the majority of my shit down.
Body by Buffalo Wings
Don’t date someone you wouldn’t own a dog with
This is like really sound advice though
I take selfies at work
Let’s face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
(Source: -sorry, via soulecology)